Provision and a Position

I sit here, both exhausted and amazed. I have learned what I've always known. God is not bound by the confines of schedules. He is never surprised by outcomes, and always has our best in mind.

Less than one week after our "last option" fell through, God has given us both provision, and a position. We have been praying for four months that God would provide for us, and provide a place for us. Today He has answered us in a way we never, NEVER thought possible. I'll post more details later, but the long and short of it is this: God has connected us with Randy and Charlina Reed to plant a culturally relevant church in Iowa City, IA with the backing of the Free Methodist Church and in cooperation with the Significant Church Network. It is both exhilarating and unfathomable. We are naturally confident and petrified! This is far bigger than anything we could accomplish, but we are confident because we know it is something God is intent on accomplishing (and after this last week, we've seen that God Accomplishes whatever He pleases.) Pray for us as we labor to fulfill our part of the Great Commission.

Prayers for the road ahead

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton—Thoughts in Solitude

The hard side of covenant

John Wesley’s Covenant Prayer

I am no longer my own, but Thine.
Put me to what Thou wilt, rank me with whom Thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by Thee or laid aside for Thee,
exalted for Thee or brought low for Thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things
to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
Thou art mine, and I am Thine. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.

Lately, I this prayer has come back to my mind. I've prayed it several times in my life. John Wesley advocated it's use at the beginning of each new year in a covenant service. But for the last few months I have been unemployed again, and so have prayed frequently something along the lines of "put me to what Thou wilt, rank me with whom Thou wilt." I have sought and sought for the path and position for which God was preparing me. But sometime last week I realized that at this moment, I was living the fulfillment of the prayer. I have begged God to "Let me be employed by Thee." But He has, for a season, chosen to lay me aside. I have fervantly prayed that I would be put to doing, He has allowed me to share in His sufferings. I have longed to be full, He has allowed me to be empty. I have desired to have all things, He has allowed me to experience "nothing."

Why would God do this? Is He a tyrant that get's His kicks out of seeing me suffer? While in the short term it may seem this way, it isn't the case. I said in the prayer "I freely and heartily yield all things to Thy pleasure and disposal." Yet how often have I held onto those things tightly for my own security and happiness. God allows me to live with lack so that I can have a right understanding of where those things come from, and what they represent. My job, is not my provision. God is my provider. Me may choose to do that through the job, but I must look to Him for my security. But more than this, it also allows me to be merciful to others who are in similar circumstances. I can look with kindness on those who can't get work. One place says you're overqualified, another says you're underqualified. Friends, even Wal-Mart doesn't want me.

In this painful, and potentially stressful time, I find courage and hope in this truth, "O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Thou art mine, and I am Thine."