Let me tell you about my Love.

Recently I caught up with an old acquaintance. He's one of those people that for whatever reason, crosses my path or enters my thoughts periodically. I have always enjoyed our interactions. He is a sincere guy with deep, thoughtful questions about religion. He's been around Christianity for some time, but has become increasingly disillusioned with it. I have always been impressed by his dogged determination to find the answers to his questions.

I went and read a bit of his blog to catch up further, and found at the beginning of the year he made the statement that he was no longer a Christian. He respects faith and those who hold it, but he couldn't go there any more. I'm sure that it was very difficult for him to get to that place, and knowing his character, he didn't utter those words lightly or without quite a bit of personal agony.

I will admit to you, my heart broke at that moment. It broke for him because I know the depth of his search, and it broke because we, as the church, have driven him away. We failed him.

"How did we fail him?" you ask, "We didn't even know him." Maybe not, but you know someone like him. We failed him because we tried to console deep wounds with Sunday school answers. We tried to tell him how to improve, rather than just loving him and accepting him right where he is. We failed him because we were quick to assure him that we knew all the answers, and where they could be found in the Bible -- chapter and verse. We trivialized his heartache by trying to convince him of a quick fix. We assured him that Jesus would fix all his problems and make him happy. We lied to him. We looked askance at him when he still had questions after we GAVE him the answer. We alienated him. We did this. My heart broke because we did this to him.

If I had the chance, if he were here, or I were there, I'd take him out for a drink and say,

Let me tell you about my love, my darling wife, my companion. She is such an amazing woman. I know that things are going to be ok, because she is by my side. Bills still come in, and sometimes money is really tight. Work is still stressful. Life still throws me the occasional curve-ball. But I know that whatever happens, she will be here. She promised me she would be with me for better or worse, in sickness and in health. She promised this to me me, not only on our wedding day, but also in every difficult season of our lives. She continually reminds me of that promise. Life still has major ups and downs, but I feel secure in her love.

It isn't marriage that makes me feel secure. I've seen too many bad marriages to put my faith in the idea of marriage. It is my wife that I trust. It isn't the institution, it's the relationship. Any other person in that position could have a very different effect on me. But she is gentle and kind and loving toward me. Even when I treat her poorly, she loves me. She loves me with her words, and with her presence. I can weather any difficult time in my life, because she stands beside me. My wife is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in my life.

Let me tell you about my love. Christianity will fail you. Every Religious institution will. It will give you bad advice, it will be impatient with your shortcomings. It will ridicule your questions, and devalue your experience. But my Love will stand by you. Jesus is not the institution. And contrary to what some in Christianity will tell you, Jesus will not make you happy. He won't solve all your problems. But Jesus will stand by you through every hard time. He won't desert you because you asked a hard question. I don't trust Christianity, but Jesus I trust. I trust him not because he's in the Bible. I trust him because I love him. He has shown me love, even when I've acted poorly to him. He shows me love through his words and through his presence. I can handle anything because I have peace through the relationship. I am secure in his love.

In the same way that relationship makes the difference in marriage, it makes the difference in religion. In the same way I have feelings of belonging, acceptance, peace, rest, and joy, because of the love from my wife, I also have those feelings in a more lasting and secure way because of the love from Jesus. He isn't an ancient teacher to me. Though he died, he has risen by the power of the creative God, who spoke and worlds were formed. He is risen, and he is available.

You have said that my faith has a foundation that you don't always find in Christians. It is in this relationship that my faith finds it's foundation. Jesus loves me very much. This can be yours too. That peace is yours for the taking. It isn't found in any religion, any form, any practice. It is found in that intimate relationship.

I pray that in your seeking, you would come to find it.

If I had the chance, this is what I would say.